Untitled.

First time using blogger apps in my i5 to make a blog post. So convenient. i5 is pretty good and i am now an apple's fans.

Anyway,happy cny. (Yea,late one i know.)

It had been 1month since i left home & finally I'm back for cny during last Thursday. At 1st i was quite excited because this was my 1st time coming back to hometown due to cny. But beginning is always more exciting.

Cny was a happy festival for me, but it no longer a happy event for me since few years ago due to some reasons. And somehow i really don't like cny,perhaps it is only a short holiday for me. I don't even care about how many angpaus.

I don't know what to say. These few days were quite depress,i feel mentally exhausted,even until now. I wish someone can understand me well, for what i feel in my deep heart. So far my biggest wish is to having a very peaceful moment ALONE in the beach. But how can i make it? I feel helpless. I'm sad about it. How do peaceful & freedom actually taste like? Can someone just help me? Can someone just bring me there & leave me alone? Even though it only can be few minutes & i will be satisfied with it.

D, i really can accept what you have criticized on me. But not all are acceptable by me. Even though we both finally can act normal again today but when i am about to bed i tears on the pillow & feel empty inside. My eyes are damn tired these days. It's hurt. Because i am trying hard to endure things alone but it is too suffering for me,since i don't know what can i do to reduce your burden on me,i feel sad whenever i remember one of the sms you have sent to me. That sms was very hurt. And also what you have thought of me in this afternoon. I feel innocent & helpless. I really care about it..

I am so tired. I am totally worn out,mentally & my pairs of eyes. Wish to find some time for myself peacefully.

Fuck. Fuck all shit fuck. Fuck my life.

Good night.